~Rippling~

Last night Laura and I were helping set up an “educate for life” programme at Hillsong church, which offers several classes on different issues in life (e.g marriage counselling). We ended up running the teas and coffees at a class for women called “shine”. The main aim of this class is the empowerment of women and celebrating their individuality through developing a small community of women who can journey together through 8 weeks of talks and group activities, that aim to lead them to understanding their own value. The class was huge, with around 100 women from all backgrounds showing up. It was a lovely environment; women huddled round candles, the air filled with laughter and sweet smells of moisturiser used for hand massages. As the class commenced we listened as these beautiful women discussed value, and how easily they can give it to others, but how much they struggle to place any on themselves.

The following day Laura and I had a discussion about the need for empowering women and our own experiences growing up which we thought contributed to our own sense of value. Laura and I had very different experiences at school, both hanging around with different groups and filling our weekends with different things; and as we continued to share these things we surprised each other, both describing an adolescent experience quite foreign to the other. However the one thing we did agree on was that neither of us began to feel comfortable in our own skin until a long while after leaving high school, and spending some time trying to find our own identities, And despite our extreme differences, as with probably every person I know, we are both still shaped by our past and are left with insecurities from this to battle with.

It got me to wondering about the cause of these insecurities so common to us all. Where are we going so wrong that the majority of people grow up learning things about themselves to loathe, and things to be ashamed of? There are numerous Christian groups with similar goals to shine around the world, countless books written about how you can only find your true identity in God and how to do this, over-worked mental health services sifting through millions of people whose lives are controlled by their inability to cope with just being themselves, and millions of songs written each month describing similar battles of finding identity and worth. But what I’m wondering is how we all seem to manage to get to the point of needing these things. Why is it that generation after generation we are producing more and more unsure, insecure and unconfident people? Why can’t we install this sense of worth and value from the start, thus empowering people to fulfil their purpose with courage and determination from the start? Is it a confused parenting style? A bad education system? The fact that we don’t always take the time to find our own self worth before we turn to helping and influencing others, so that there is a ripple effect of hurt people hurting people? Or could it be our glamour-obsessed media that drives beautiful and talented men and women to tears when they simply look in the mirror?

If we were born to love each other and be loved then where have we gone so wrong that we need classes, book upon book and thousands of songs to begin to learn how to accept love in return? By raising generations of people unaware of their value we are robbing the world of the amazing gifts that only this person can give until they have struggled over and over and sometimes are blessed enough to find the courage to be themselves, and I am sad to assume that there are thousands, if not millions out there who never find this courage. Imagine if Mother Theresa had never had the faith and courage based in love to leave her doubting family, or if Anne Sullivan had given up on Helen Keller, as it would have been so easy to do. So often Christians talk about love and spreading God’s love but how are we meant to “spread” something if we don’t first take the time to understand and accept it? Maybe it’s time we begin to become truly aware of the effect of our words and actions toward others, as we also give ourselves the well deserved time to learn who we are as individuals, and to love this person. Because, despite what you might have been told by peers back at school “loving yourself” is nothing to be ashamed of, so long as you understand where this love comes from and your important part in the ripple effect. If you create a ripple from your heart that is full of love, and you begin to pour out that love to others then just maybe you’re small act of love that began the ripple will be enough to flood somebody’s world with the love they have been thirsty for the whole time.

Jenn xx