Heroes behind bars

“Mammy!” is not the word you would expect to echo around the cold tall walls of a prison. However, sadly that is the case here in Oruro in Bolivia. With the lack of the same social care we benefit from in the UK, children who have criminal parents here often have nowhere else to go and so if they cannot live with a relative and both parents are in jail (which seems to be the case all too often), or if they depend on only one parent, then when that parent gets sent to jail so does the child. The result is a “mother’s courtyard”, a small courtyard in the prison where children live in small rooms with their siblings and mother for the duration of her sentence. The children still attend school and are able to leave the prison when collected by someone, but of course this is far from the life they should be leading. Never can they be walked to school by their parents, or have them smiling in the audience at a school play, their surroundings are cold and grey, without grass or a park to play on in sight, and the idea of inviting friends home for dinner is as crazy as the idea of children in prison.
Laura and I have been working with a project here in Oruro called Angel Tree (or Arbol del Angel in Espanol). This project was set up in Oruro by a woman called Gabriela, a lawyer who saw the need of the children in the prisons all too often during her visits with clients. Arbol del Angel have a centre on the back of their church that children with parents in prison or children who live in the prisons can come to every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday for help with their homework, some Bible teaching, lunch, games, snacks, emotional support and social time with children in similar situations to their own. The centre is absolutely brilliant, with great resources, good moral and health values and run by a brilliant, caring team. They provide the children with much needed structure, confidence building and understanding relationships. This is essential for these children as I’m sure we all know that it can be all too easy for children in such situations to follow in their parent’s footsteps. And even forgetting all these benefits, the centre is a safe building full of colour and laughter, a million miles from their prison homes.
During our stay here Laura and I have been able to visit the prison a couple of times. The first time was just to speak with the prisoners and meet some of the parents of the children. It was interesting for us as we were surprised by several things. For example the prisoners seem to be able to fill their rooms with hundreds of belongs, cover the walls in photos of naked women, but strangest of all for us was when Laura came across one prisoner’s collection of empty whisky bottles!
We had been told by the women from Arbol del Angel that we would be meeting lots of male prisoners and so we had to dress “sensibly”. So, taking this advice to heart maybe a bit too much, Laura and I didn’t wash our hair, wore fully covering clothes, no make up and barely washed our faces! But thankfully, all of the prisoners were not just friendly and nice to us they were all respectful and never made us feel uncomfortable. I think a lot of that respect came from the fact that we were with Arbol del Angel, which is a great testimony for the work they do.
The following day we returned to the prison (yes we were allowed out!) with the children for a performance. The prison were having some kind of entertainment day with art work and musicians visiting and our children had prepared a dance for the event. I was really excited about this as I’m sure it means a lot to both them and their parents that they can share something like this that with any other organisation they would miss. The kids all did a great job and seemed to enjoy the day and it was lovely for us to see which kids matched with which parents. Leaving however was a bit more difficult. Our hearts broke in two. One half wept for the many children we were leaving behind in their concrete home, and the other for the children and parents that struggled to once again say goodbye to each other. At that point I have to say I started to almost understand having the kids living in the jail. It was just so sad watching them leave their parents behind.
It’s really nice for us to be working with such a well-run and well-equipped project as we get to just enjoy the brilliant work they are doing and not worry too much about what they are lacking as we have done with some less developed projects. But one thing I do find difficult here is to remember it is never my place to judge others. I have always had the privilege of having loving parents that have more than provided for me both emotionally and materially, and so I know I can never properly empathise with or understand desperate poverty (which I’m sure is the reason at least some of these parents have ended up in prison) and I know for a fact that I would do my all to provide for my family, which isn’t always easy for everyone; but I also can’t understand how all of these parents have been forced to end up taking a route that leads to their child living in a prison or growing up with a parent in jail. However, as I keep reminding myself never to judge, especially what I don’t know, I am full of sorrow and compassion for these parents. I don’t have any children yet, but if I even think about how much I love other people’s children I can’t imagine how it must feel to feel like you are letting them down in such a huge way.
During our first visit I noticed the “comforts” in the material things allowed to the prisoners. But on our second visit I had a much deeper understanding of the situation and what they had been forced to give up as I watched a father of three dish out small pocket money to his kids and hug them goodbye as they clung to him at the gate. The scene looked normal for a prison gate, but when you looked closer and into their eyes, it was clear that these small children were hugging their Daddy who, like all other children, was their hero, and he was desperately clinging to his children’s innocent minds, knowing fully that one day that view may change and all he could do is wait in his concrete box hoping to be their hero once again. I am just so sorry things ever got so desperate for these families that it could end up like this, but I am fully confident the children will be stronger than they ever could be without Arbol del Angel, and for that I am thankful.
Jenn xx