Our eyes are the windows to our souls...

For the purpose of this entry I’m going to pinch a lot of what other people have said because remarkably –although some of them strangers – their words seem to encapsulate what is going on in my little life in Bolivia. Neither of the gentlemen I refer to know me but their words have impacted my life deeply whilst reading their books.

You might think I have nothing better to do with my time than read books. The appearance of this sleepy city Sucre gives the distinct impression of tranquility, calmness and -on days when the students are not protesting here – peacefulness. However, it’s quite the contrary. The white paint on the walls of this city create an annual blankness hiding the hustle of activity that takes place behind them and muting the colourfull conversations we´ve been having all week with our friends. These conversations and a very busy schedule are the reason I don´t actually have time to read as much as I’d like. However, in the moments I do steal with William and Joel (no unfortunately not handsome – or they may be, like I said I haven´t met them- companions William and Joel are authors) I feel blessed. Unlike books I have read in the past theirs don’t transport me to other realms nor do they allow my mind to escape the reality I am living in. They do the complete opposite. They emerge me deeper into my own reality allowing me to fully experience it. “Enjoying where I am on the way to where I am going!” (Joyce Meyer). Isn´t that something we all desire to be able to do; to enjoy today whilst looking forward to tomorrow. What´s more that´s what God intends you to be able to do (Jeremiah 29:11). However for many of us this is a romantic notion, getting through the day is a chore and who wants to think about tomorrow?....

I do and in the past two weeks we´ve met others, behind the blank canvases, who are also really experiencing today! Upon these canvases the congregation of CCE church are painting with their words and actions everyday. Couples, children, teams and individuals in CCE Church are creating something in Sucre that the world most definitely wants to see.
Starting in the literal sense with Horna Casa. A house, building, well place situated high on one of the “breasts of Sucre” (Ruth´s words not mine). Sucre is a city that rests in the depths of many stunning mountains and Horna Casa overlooks it. Horna Casa looks positively prehistoric in comparison to the clean whitewashed streets in the city centre making even the little tiendas and market stalls in the plaza look distinctly cosmopolitan. That was until they started to paint.

I think now is an appropriate time to introduce Ruth and Dino (Dean). You´ll become familiar with them as you read this – they are really active in orchestrating a lot of what is going on here in CCE at the moment. I previously described this match – literally made in heaven – as “beautiful”; a very immediate and accurate observation I stick by. However since our initial introduction, over chicken kebabs, these friends; mentors; teachers; angels, have shown us how beautiful they really are. Their words have breathed life and encouragement into Soul Touch and their superior drama skills have had us laughing until exhaustion.

Not only because they invited us to their early (Saturday) morning drama group but because the sketches they taught the young people, although weighted with meaning, were hilarious when demonstrated by the talented twosome. Furthermore their tactics at involving us in extreme sports (they had us rock climb vertically up one of the “breasts” in extreme heat and altitude – yes they are hyper active and have energy that knows no bounds- have been much appreciated, as was the invitation for pizza after the excursion. In the two weeks we’ve known this pair they’ve introduced us to many people all almost as inspirational as themselves. Starting with a group of Brazilians, here as part of their missionary training. The team from Brazil are the ones painting (transforming) Horna Casa. And so Ruth, Dino the Brazilians and the Soul Touchers, equipped with paint pots, tools and wheelbarrows of enthusiasm set off for a days work.


The team (all twelve of us) packed ourselves into one vehicle. Whilst the boys hung fearlessly onto the roof rack, relishing the adventure of ascending the mountain with only a metal frame ( and a prayer) between themselves and the 2000ft vertical drop back down, the girls, Dino and Pastor Phil squeezed onto more comfortable seats in the 4x4. As we drove up the hill Ruth debriefed us about Horna Casa and the project there: renovating the old house into a community centre providing teaching and much needed attention for the community. As her passion for the project overflowed into the tiny (already claustrophobic space) her eyes welled, “The people are poor Erica. The people are poor!" She yelled over the screaming exhaust (the car didn´t take to kindly to the extra weight….the paint not Soul Touch!) whilst I dodged her- beautifully extrovert – hand talk. Trying to imagine what she was describing I pictured favelas, slums, camps – just some of the poverty we´ve witnessed in the ten months of Soul Touching. “The children play with the pigs, ¨ she explained as the car came to a sudden halt, naturally offloading the Brazilians boys in the back.

As we picked up our paint and tools we trudged past the children she´d described and like she´d said they were- and probably still are- “playing with the pigs”. The only thing more revolting than the stench at Horna Casa was the sight of children living and playing in the pigs pit. Immediately the team got to work, effortlessly fitting back into the roles they put down with their brushes as they left the day before. A couple of the boys set about finishing the path they were constructing outside, whilst others cleaned, painted; painted and cleaned.

As they started work Lorna and I listened and filmed trying to capture some of the transformation that is taking place there. We pray we have captured a little of what is hugely amazing! Don´t stress we did eventually put down our cameras and pick up some brushes, helping to colour the beautiful murals Dino and Ruth were outlining on the walls of the classrooms (to be). Delicately, nervously - I was terrified incase I spoiled what is seriously a masterpiece- I coloured in the bright green grass beneath Jesus` feet. As my brush swept beneath the feet of the coffee coloured Jesus I felt eyes upon me; eyes everywhere. Huge eyes feeding huge souls in little dirty bodies. The eyes of children who´d left their card board boxes, in which they usually spend their days. Children who´d dismounted the pigs with which they played, now scanned the room we were painting.
They watched Pepe and Gonzolo as they flattened the ground before carefully laying each brick. They watched Pastor Micky and Pancho (his brother) as they constructed the partitions that will separate classrooms, giving more opportunities for group work. They watched Karen, Becky, Adriana and Hugo washing the windows and floors in preparation for paint. They watched Gideon encouraging his friends whilst he himself painted the high parts – the tallest of the group- and Ruth expertly colouring the loaves and fishes. Lastly their eyes fixed on Dino as he swept a huge rainbow across one of the empty walls. A rainbow. A symbol of hope.

Lorna once wisely quoted: “The eyes are the windows to our souls”. A statement that has directed our mission. As my eyes looked upon those children my soul crunched. Until I traced the direction the children´s eyes. They stared not at the rainbow, the giant colourful symbol of hope but upon the hands drawing it. Their eyes transfixed on the faces of the team who were transforming their little village and as my paint ran out beneath Jesus` feet I thanked him for reminding me.

For reminding me that the paint was transforming more than the walls. It in truth is simply a mask for the real reason we were there: to be his hands and his feet. Yes, the paint brightened the place making it functional, essential if any real ministry and teaching is going to continue there, which I know it will. But the real reason the team were painting was because they have a desire to make relationships with the people there and to demonstrate practically the love of Jesus. Relationships are the second reason my life has been too busy to read – no not romantic relationships settle down this isn´t Daniel Steels your reading! My name`s Erica Bonnar big, huge, verging on annoying fan of Jesus.

Last Sunday Lorna and I had the massive privilege of speaking to the congregation of CCE. It was an amazing evening sharing with them a little of what we are doing, showing then photos of where we have been and hopes of where we are going. I loved that evening. Lorna shared her testimony which blessed everyone and it was a real time of fellowship. But for me the greatest gift was that our host family came. Marisol and four of her six siblings, her children, nieces and nephews took up a large part of the congregation. For me them being there was just as important as anything we said or sang that night. They are a family, like many here in Bolivia and at home, who in the past has been divided by denomination, possibly even hurt by the church. What I saw on Sunday was a family united by the church. A family brought closer than ever being healed by the church: “ I suppose that since most of our hurts came through relationships so will our healing.” (William P Young, The Shack, 2007)

As I read this statement recently in Ýoung´s awesome fictional novel ‘The Shack` I was reminded of the church, of Marisol´s family and of my own (you reading this). It´s so true. For a long time we´ve offended each other, upset those sitting in the pews and on occasion even rejected those who refuse and conform to our ways. Thank goodness I can talk about this in the past tense (well mostly). On Sunday we stood before a congregation full of differences: different colours, different opinions (on music, dress code and more I´m sure) and from different denominations. A congregation who, that morning, had been fed by a pastor desperate to communicate the kingdom of heaven and their role in preparing for it.

During the week at Horna Casa I witnessed a congregation in preparation for exactly that: `Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21: 1-5 (Further ref 1 Thess 4:16 2 Peter 3:10)

If this doesn’t excite you check your pulse. This is what we´re living for! As I painted the feet of Jesus on a wall I saw people walking where he would have walked; walking for him. What´s more I saw children watching – probably not fully understand the team’s reasons or motivations for being there as my new pal Willie says: “Grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside.” (William P Young, The Shack, 2007)

I´m sure to the world a lot of what your doing right now doesn´t make sense, perhaps even to your own families! That doesn´t mean they don´t see it. They do and like the eyes of the children their eyes witness your works and their souls are fed.

Finally I want to share with you one more wee thing I´ve learned about relationships – I say that like I´m an expert when realistically I´m anything but, but I love to learn. It´s probably easiest for me to draw upon the most obvious relationship in my life right now, no not Jesus but she´s trying hard, Lorna Main. A friend and loyal servant with whom I´ve spent every minute of every day (literally) for ten months straight. I know it´s hard to imagine but I can count on one hand the hours we´ve spent apart. Together we´ve shared ideas, bible verses, meal times, mattresses, clothes and on occasion even bath (bucket) water – well would you want to go pump the well twice?!

Honestly we´ve loved it but that doesn´t mean it´s not been difficult. For those of you who have met us you´ll know we´re different. For example Lorna finds it easy to get up at 5:30 am to finish our Spanish homework as I reluctantly (big moan) follow. Lorna has natural comic timing and always has those around her in fits of laughter, myself included. She has an awesome gift of listening; I’m known to wake her in the wee small hours of the morning (1am or 2am, sometimes both) just to have her listen to me. Lorna brings peace. And me…well I talk incessantly as you know. These are but a few differences and we´re only two. I come from a family of six so I know difference trust me. I also, because of my family, know how to recognize what a blessing difference can be. As Dr Joel Hunter describes, “The other must be enough like us to be intimate but different enough to be necessary!” (Church Distributed)

I know I go on a lot about the arms and legs thingy (body of Christ, 1 Cor 12) but it´s only because I am excited about its relevance for us. Nobody wants to be in a relationship where they feel redundant, unnecessary. The reason for this is that we were actually made to be in relation, contrary to the Miss/Mr Independent conscience that is given by the world today. As a church being able to recognize our need relationships is our greatest strength.

I love the fact that Jesus instructed us to be like little children and so I´m going to illustrate our need for relationship from a child´s perspective. The other day Lorna and I were walking home from school and we passed two children, also walking home from school. They had stopped outside a house and were yelling at the window upstairs. Immediately as Lorna and I passed they directed their yelling at us, “Tocar el Timbre”. One of the little boys tugged Lorna´s jacket pointing to the bell above the door, far out of reach for his little (he´s a child and Bolivian so he´s pequeño) frame. The child recognised his inability to reach the bell, his mother´s inability to hear his call – remember the yelling- and Lorna´s ability to help. Thank goodness for tall (gorgeous) blond greengos eh! It´s one example of a child´s natural humility. His humility enabled him to ask for help and what´s more he recognized who was able to help him. In doing so he involved Lorna and she was happy. Hear that “happy”, “involved”. Characteristics I´ve been learning about this week.

Starting with the welcome we´ve received from Ruth and Dino. They´ve involved us and in doing so made us happy (ridiculously happy!) Then there´s the church here. Made up of a mishmash of Christians, Bolivians, Brazilians, English, Irish, Chinese and now Scottish, they’ve welcomed us. A congregation who come predominantly from Catholic backgrounds and families yet recognize this difference and the foundation the Catholic Church has laid here: “ Relationships that hold together inspite of their differences have the potential of helping people within those relationships home their beliefs and their choices. Once that is accomplished the opportunity to serve others together becomes an option” ( Church distributed) This is so true of the churches we have seen around the world…starting in St Andrews Scotland!

Finally my relationship with Lorna. A relationship that teaches me new things everyday. In comparison to a world wide church it’s a small relationship but realistically not all that different: “ We reinforce each other because we are communicating the same thing in slightly different ways and in different contexts” (Church distributed.) So how do Horna Casa, Ruth and Dino, the door bell scenario and my relationship with Miss Main all fit together. I suppose the only link is me. I have been blessed by what I´ve learned from them all. In reverse order: the child´s example of humility, Ruth and Dean´s example of the importance for us to involve, Lorna´s example of relationship (it´s no easy task listening to me for ten months) and finally the team´s example of serving. We need humility to be able to involve. We need to involve in order to strengthen, make and heal relationships and we need relationships in order to truly serve. I love you all and need you more than you’ll ever know! Erica x