Baa

Good Morning everyone. It's a b e a utiful day here in Israel and I'm loving having a little more time to write to you all than we did in Africa. Seriously that place was hectic, not that we're complaining we loved every second but we apologise for not having written as much as we would have liked. Over the next two weeks here in Israel we will try our best to fill you in on the best, and not so best, bits of our trip so far. Miss Main is resting (and deservedly so) her pretty lil head right now but I thought I'd give you a lil insight into the world of Soul Touch and why the journey so far has been a constant giggle for me, living with the legend that is known as Lorna Main. On a typical day in Africa the following comments were made...try to imagine as bizarre as they may sound:

Scenario Number one:
We were both totally overwhelmed by the hospitality of our hosts in Kenya. During our short stay there we were invited to many people's homes and shared meals with them. (Seriously lots of meals, Africans can eat!) So one day we were out in the car to be shown the sights by Nancy (our host whom many of you know)

and Jamlik (another elder at the church and the sweetest man ever!). Anyway, after a morning of visiting coffee and tea plantations (that was a fab experience in itself, to see people picking tea leaves and the skill that is involved; we'll never take Tetley for granted again) we started to question Nancy as to where we were going next. The sun was going down and the thunder and lightening sounding overhead was lighting the sky.
"Nancy where are we going?" A sheepish Scottish girl, Lona Main, enquired.
"What?" Nancy boomed over the scraping noise, turning her head 180 degrees so she was no longer watching the mud track ahead of us. 'N' that noise for those of you who haven't experienced African roads is very common, it's known as the bottom of your car getting wrecked off the potholes and mountains you're forcing it to drive over.
"Where...are...we....going?" Now a louder, slower (though slightly panicky) drone came from the back seat. You know the type, when talking to someone of a different nationality we assume that by shouting at them in a bizarre, insanely loud voice they will immediately understand our weird Scottish accents. Anyway it seemed to work.
"I can't tell you," she giggled.
Ok so at this point alarm bless start ringing. "Seriously Lorna where are we going? This is mental and I need the toilet," I nagged. I need the toilet was my catch phrase for most of our time in Africa; lets just say the food there did not agree with me.
After another 2 hours driving in the same direction, heading to the middle of nowhere, Nancy left the car and opened an old rusty gate which entered a field. Excuse me I forgot, before she did this she "shoooooed" the bulls that were guarding it out of the way; they have lions and elephants in their country we learned that bulls to them are like mice to us.
"Come girls!" She beckoned.
Hesitantly, still recovering from the whiplash we had just received form the drive, we tried to dodge bulls, cows, sheep and goats and we followed Nancy and Jamlik across the field. By this time it was raining and cold (Yes stay with me we're still in Africa).
Situated in the middle of the field were four buildings...derelict! Yes nothing, noone...the place was deserted.
"Eh...excuse me Nancy. Eh...where are we? Are we visiting someone here?"
"Choose a sheep," Nancy smiled, pointing at the animals.
"Sorry? Pardon? Where...are...we?" The voice for the deaf resurrected itself again.

What happened next is still a bit vague and a bit scary but they went something like this:
Jesting towards us (we were somewhere between bulls trying to avoid the African rain which is bloomin painful) Nancy handed, or should I say, tried to hand us each a knife. I mean machete style! "Have you ever slaughtered a sheep?" Again Nancy's booming smile did not seem to fit the question she was asking.
Looking at each other now both totally bemused in unison we stuttered "Eh...no"
Then the realisation of what we were going to do hit us. I immediately screamed "slaughtered a sheep," before entering into those annoying hysterics I go into a lot when nervous or in a totally surreal situation. Looking to Lorna I was wondering how we would get out of this one. Only Lorna was not there. Suddenly a vision of pink flashed between cows. Lorna was running for the car, where she locked herself until the deed was done.

Needless to say I did not slaughter the sheep, a kind African man did that for us, but I did watch (and film for you guys back home. Yes we had to endure it so I think in the name of support you should too!) which was disturbing enough!
I hope I've managed to give you an idea of just how bizarre a day in the life of the Soul Touch girls is. And that was just the day. Oh by the way the sheep was a thanksgiving gift from Nancy's mum to thank all you peeps in Scotland for your hospitality to her while she was staying over there. Lorna and I enjoyed eating it on your behalf!

So that evening we were invited to the ministers house for some goat. After sharing a delicious meal Lorna was asked to lead us in prayer. Still recovering from the days escapades and suffering from sleep deprivation (in a week we saw the whole of Kenya) Lorna started:
"Thank you father for the meal we have shared and thank you for the hostility the people here have shown us..."
Oaft that was the end of me. Giggle, giggle, giggle! And now you know just one of the reasons I call her a legend and why, since I stepped on the plane, I have never stopped smiling!