Friday, October 19, 2007

Gate-crashing India

Since leaving home at the end of June and jet setting off to the land of Moz, with a crew of eleven other crazy Scots, life has been...interesting, blessed and a constant rollercoaster of emotions. Facing and overcoming a multitude of challenges including the authorities in Moz, running on the beach with Tim in Moz (trust me that was a challenge, the man is fast and mean!). Then, the possibility of being homeless (or hostel-less) in South Africa, arriving in Uganda in the middle of the night and having to persuade a taxi driver to take us on a road deemed "too dangerous" to drive on. Then as if that hadn't knackered us out enough we had to endure a week of Englishmen/women, our tent flooding, crossing Lake Victoria on a fishing boat with no life jackets and they even made us jump off a crane. All of this before we even reached Dwelling places where the "Peace Child" extravaganza was set to take over our lives, our dreams, our speech and our thoughts; talk about Drama! Then at the end of all that we went to Kenya...Baaa! Yeah you all know the story. It was a whirlwind romance to say the least; we painted, sung, danced, laughed and ultimately cried when we had to leave.

So we headed for Israel- the Miami of the Middle East. There we were spiritually challenged, if not physically and we learned a lot. So back on the plane we waddled (seriously they have got food in Africa they just give it all to the Mazoongos).
We were warned of how thorough the Israeli securities were but nothing had prepared us for this. They emptied both our rucksacks. Lorna managed to escape with a brisk search but for some reason they seemed convinced I was hiding something...they even checked the under wires of my bras, all one of them! Eventually (after convincing them to repack it for me- they may have guns but hey we are cute) we landed in Cairo, where we dashed around seeing pyramids, camels and sphinx, smelling exotic perfumes -forced on us by Egyptian men- and at the end of it all we came out with very sore feet but hey at least they smelled sweet.

So this is where I think we are up to. And now we are in India...no wait a minute no we're not we're in Sri Lanka. We got our pretty little butts swiftly deported from India as we didn't have "party invitations",as Lorna would call them. Seemingly in India they call them Visas and you need them to enter the country.

So it would appear Soul Touch was ready to jump, crawl (at some points in the past two days we've even had to climb) over our first major hurdle; and what a blessing it has been getting over it. Before I continue breath out; it's fine we are safe and feeling wonderfully blessed right now. After what has been probably the most exhausting forty eight hours of our mission so far we can proudly say we have lived to tell the tale. So here goes:

We left Cairo early after discovering (on our way to the airport) that in actually fact it was not Wednesday (the day our tickets were booked for) but it was still Tuesday. In our defense we were traveling in so many different time zones that really it was easy not get mixed up with what day we were on, or at least that's our story and we're sticking to it. Anyway Muhammad, our tour guide, new friend and a complete gentleman, spoke to Emirates on our behalf and changed the flights with no additional costs. However, it did mean that we had no time in Dubai and we literally rushed through the airport, flashing our UK passports (which it would appear nobody ever questions) and before we knew it we were in Chennai, India.

Now for the remainder of the story you must imagine a wonderfully Bollywood accent every time an Indian or Sri Lankan person is talking. It really is much more amusing and yes they do wiggle their heads when they talk; we are yet to discover why but it's hilarious never the less and long may it continue!

So first Hoddit (Erica) approached the desk.
"Wer iz ur veesa," an Indian gentleman seated behind a desk, masked by a computer screen asked as he shook my pink passport infront of me (thanks for that 3L2).
"I'm here to get one!" Hoddit replied, equally as confused as the irrate Indian. This had never happened before; when you arrive in a country you get a stamp..no? Then very calmly and quietly the gentleman gestured for me to stand to the side, beckoning Dottit (Lorna) to come forward.
"Eh excuse me. She is with me." I stuttered, suddenly embarrassed, as Lorna was shooed over next to me. I was standing in the dunce’s corner! We stood for a while wondering why we were getting "special treatment" and then a man with a walkie talkie came and we learned why.

By this time the immigration office was completely empty and the hundreds of Indians who had once filled it had dispersed along with the few Mazoongos who had obviously planned for the party beforehand. We were led into a small room which was occupied by about ten men speaking, either English very fast, or another language. In either case their heads were bobbing ten to the dozen and the awkward glances they were making in our direction indicated we were in trouble.

The next voice to speak to us was all a bit bizarre and to be honest we are still waiting for a punch line. The way he delivered it, it sounded like a joke.
"Yoo can nut bee her." He commanded, without so much as a glance in our direction.
Looking up for candid cameras I turned to Doddit. "What...eh? Is he being serious?" Both Lorna and I felt that this could not be happening to us. We were doing God's work. How could we have messed up so badly? What would our families think? These thoughts plagued us but only for a short while. Within minutes we were escorted "out of India"!
"You can nut evan stand her," we were told. So we didn't; we came to Sri Lanka.

And so that is where we are now. Over the last forty eight hours we have tackled the monumental task of applying and eventually recieving an Indian Visa. It has been a long, slow, slow process but as always God has reigned supreme and proven more powerful than all authorities and fears. Not only has he done that but he has done it in a spectacular way. Lorna and I have been told at least one hundred times that there is no way you can obtain an Indian Visa in less than five working days. Infact it is "imposs-bubble", "unherd of", "it simpee cannut happun". Oh but it has!

After being told to go away for the hundredth time and (literally) having doors shut in our faces we phoned the British High Commission. Yes it's amazing how much strength, confidence and wisdom God gives you in these situations. Wisdom I certainly didn't think I had. They in turn got in touch with the Indian High commission and within the hour we were sitting in the head office, with the main man: the deputy to the High Commissioner himself and our visas were being processed.

So we have another stamp in our little books and we have flights booked to go to Chennai tomorrow morning. There we will continue God's work and meet with our dear friends who have been waiting patiently for us.

Finally thank you for all your prayers. They are powerful and today is a testimony that they re being answered!

Much love Hoddit and Doddit, the soul touchers.

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